What You Shouldn't Do
by Become1withSealand
Summary: I'm just using this thing as a place to put random drabbles I come up with. Not for die hard fans or to be taken seriously.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, I just thought of this while driving to the supermarket with my mom. Just pure drabble and not to be taken seriously. Also, don't complain about how an object that will be revealed later shouldn't be here.  
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR.**

The Fellowship had stopped at in the forest while on their way to Lothlórien and was trying to sleep. Merry and Pippin, though, were awake and needed a little something to take their mind off the death of Gandalf. "So, do we just spray it?"

"Read the bottle Pippin."

"Oh, okay, now we just wait for five minutes before we wash it off."

"I hope he likes his new look."

"Yeah, so do you want a midnight snack?"

"We don't have any food left Merry."

"I saw an apple tree over in that direction earlier."

"Let's go than!" The pair raced over to the tree and began to eat the apples that had fallen. "Merry, do you think it's been five minutes yet?"

"Aren't you keeping track?"

"No, I thought you were."

"Well, I thought you were."

"Uh-oh."

"Quick, get the bucket!" Pippin raced to where they had put a bucket full of water and grabbed it. He threw the liquid on a sleeping form and ran after Merry. "Run!" they shouted, waking the rest of the Fellowship as the victim jumped up.

"What is going on?" he yelled after them. The hobbits didn't reply but ran deeper into the forest and away from the victim. Said person turned to look at his friends and was shocked to see them laughing hysterically. "What is going on? What is so funny?"

That's when he noticed his hands. They were orange! "Aye, they got you good laddie!" Gimli howled with laughter.

"We're sorry Legolas; we didn't mean to turn you orange! We just thought you would look better with a tan so we took the liberty of spray tanning you. But we were eating and lost track of time. Please don't kill us!" Pippin apologized from his hiding spot. "You turned me orange! I look like a… like a… like an orange!"

"Well oranges are plumper, stouter, and rounder than you. You look more like an orange flower," Aragorn told his friend trying to contain his laughter. "Well, you are no longer that fair elf prince," Boromir added.

Legolas picked up his bow and arrow and got his revenge. Later that year all of Middle Earth fell under the rule of Sauron because Legolas killed the hobbits who helped defeat Isengard.

**Short, I know, but I hope it was funny. I'm probably going to keep this open in case I have another little story to share or something. Please review and tell me what you thought, it helps my inspiration which right now is starving after thinking up of this baby. BvBFallenAngels out!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Meh, I'm bored and tired so here is another short thing. I thought this up while watching TV. Hope you enjoy!  
Disclaimer: I own no one/thing.**

Aragorn looked at Boromir's shield and knew that something bad was going to happen. He was putting his money on the table that the man of Gondor would try to take Frodo's ring.

"I bet five shillings Boromir will try to take Frodo's ring," he said, handing the money to Pippin. "Well I bet ten shillings they are just going for a walk together," Sam told Aragorn while handing Merry ten shillings. "I bet ten gold pieces that the Urak-Hai will catch up to us and kill Boromir after he tries to take the ring," Legolas added. "Well, I bet fifty gold pieces that Boromir will try to take the ring and then get bitten by zombies and run off with our food," Merry said.

"No, no, he'll take the ring and make off with it," Pippin told the others. "You are all wrong, Boromir is making Frodo a fairy princess costume for the ball," Gimli said with a smug face.

"Well, let's go see, shall we," Merry asked Pippin and they raced off to find him. "We should probably go after them," Aragorn sighed, grabbing his sword. "Aye, who knows what those hobbits will get themselves into," Gimli said, grabbing his axe. Legolas stuffed the rest of the cookie he was eating into his mouth before grabbing his bow.

~Boromir and Frodo~

"Well Frodo, how nice to see you on this lovely afternoon," Boromir said with a grin. Frodo was a little creeped out at how the man was acting. "Hello Boromir," the hobbit replied staring at him. "I see you are all alone."

"Not anymore since you arrived."

"Ah, yes, well about that. I have a little surprise for you, but then I must be off."

"What is this surprise?" Frodo was really worried what Boromir was going to do. "Well, you see, I have had a lot of free time for thinking and debating. I have decided to take you to Gondor with me."

"Are you mad? I cannot go to Gondor when the ring must be destroyed!"

"Well, I need you to go to Gondor with me. I made my father a promise."

"And what promise was that?"

"To bring back something of great value, I hope you catch my meaning."

"Oh, I catch your meaning." Frodo put on the ring and vanished. "No Frodo, come back!" Boromir cried, trying to find and catch the invisible hobbit. Frodo kicked him and the man fell to the ground with tears in his eyes. "Frodo, please come back!" he yelled pounding his fists on the ground.

Boromir looked up and saw Merry and Pippin cornered by Urak-Hai. "Must protect hobbit people," he gasped and rose to his feet. He ran forward and struck an enemy down. "You shall not hurt the little people!" he yelled. "We are not little!" Pippin shouted. "Yes we are," Merry argued. "Well, it's still offensive," Pippin argued. "If it is offensive than I am terribly sorry," Boromir told them. He turned back to the battle and was instantly struck by and arrow. He fell and looked at the hobbits, the fright in their eyes giving him enough strength to get back up on his feet.

~the others~

Frodo ran up to Aragorn and told him, "Boromir tried to take the ring and I fear you might do the same. I will continue this journey by myself alone. I will also take Sam for I cannot cook or take care of myself. Good day to you." Frodo tipped an imaginary hat to the man before running away. "I won the bet!" Aragorn yelled before rushing into battle. _That has to be the weirdest battle cry we ever heard. Besides the one about little people, that one was weird too, _the Urak-Hai thought before Aragorn killed them.

~Fast forward a bit~

Aragorn knelt over Boromir. "You're going to be alright."

"Who are you trying to fool, I'm dying and all know that. Please tell Frodo that I was not trying to take the ring from him. I merely promised my father to bring home a female hobbit for the ball. I could not find one, so I made a dress for Frodo to wear and pretend to be a female hobbit." With those words Boromir pulled out a pink, glittery ball gown small enough to fit Frodo. "I made it myself," the man gasped before falling silent.

"Well, I guess I won." Gimli told them. "Where are the hobbits, I would like to collect my earnings." Merry and Pippin looked at each other. "Merry, I don't have any money for my bet."

"Me either."

"Please, take us with you!" they called, jumping on the retreating Urak-Hais' back. "After them, they have our money!" Aragorn shouted, chasing the retreating group.

**I know, almost nothing was canon with this one. Still, humor/parody section is where this thing is. Anyway, review, subscribe, and favorite please! BvBFallenAngels out!**


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